As parents, we always try to help our kids navigate the world with patience, kindness and love.
Paul tells us in Gal. 5, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Knowing this verse is easy, but modeling and teaching these fruits to our children can be difficult — I'm not going to lie, my church family.
It’s important, as parents, to teach and model these fruits for our kids, especially toward neurodivergent kids. Your kids will come into contact with neurodivergent kids and it’s important that they show Christ-like love to their peers.
What is Neurodivergent?
Neurodivergent is a term used to describe people whose brains process information differently than most people. It's not a medical diagnosis, but rather a way to describe people without using terms like "normal" or "abnormal." For example, children with ADHD, autism or learning disabilities may be called neurodivergent.
There are many children in our neighborhood, church and school who are neurodivergent, so my kids have plenty of opportunities to learn how to treat other kids who are different from they are. Believe me, we have had lots of conversations about this.
Col. 3:22 tells us, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
It’s important to have open and honest talks with your children about neurodivergence and what it means, as well as why it’s important to practice kindness and patience with their neurodivergent peers. Every child is valuable — make sure your kids understand that.
5 Ways to Teach Compassion Toward Neurodivergent Peers
Active listening: It might take neurodivergent kids longer to respond. They might take longer to process information. Teach your kids not to interrupt or try to mind read. Encourage them to be active listeners. Practice this skill with them — it’s an important life skill to learn for all communication.
Offer help: It’s okay to offer help but realize that help might not be needed. Practice this question with your kids: “Would you like my help?” Neurodivergent kids might accept your help with explaining the rules of the game more slowly or organizing their classroom materials. Don’t assume neurodivergent kids aren’t capable though.
Inclusiveness: Neurodivergent kids can sometimes be left out, so teach your kids to be inclusive. Invite kids to play and modify games if necessary. Kids just want to feel like they belong somewhere. Rom. 15:7 tells us, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
Be patient and flexible: Because some neurodivergent kids take longer to process information, kids need to practice patience and flexibility. That’s not always easy. Practice at home what patience and flexibility look like. Talk about actual situations and explore ways to do better. Your kids are also still learning.
Use kind words and encouragement: Teach your kids to use positive and encouraging words to build others up. We all love a kind word given to us. Teach your kids practical ways to build up their neurodivergent peers. Eph. 4:29 tells us, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”
You are your kids' best teacher. Model compassion to them. Show them what it looks like, sounds like and feels like.
Communicate well with your kids. Discuss and reflect on their social interactions and help them do better in love. Pray for your kids and their peers — God created us and we are all valuable to Him.
Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” As best you can, with the Holy Spirit as your helper, show Christ-like love in all your interactions with your spouse, your kids and your neighbors — and let your kids see this.
